The "Strength" of Our Secrets

by Andrew J. Schreier

Our secrets can have a powerful hold on us. While these secrets become our responsibility, they often have a devastating impact on those near us.

Our secrets can have a powerful hold on us. While these secrets become our responsibility they often have a devastating impact on those near us. The secrets we keep and hold to ourselves become hidden from others. We protect them. We support them. We are afraid of what might happen if these secrets are exposed to others and be known. So with these fears we hide them by keeping them in the dark.

But the more we hide them it builds in its power and strength; like a tornado. It becomes a dark and powerful force surrounding us, causing us to be disconnected, and harm others in the process. In a strange sense we actually feel safe - just like at the center of the tornado. We hope and think we can control the secrets, maintain them, or at least minimize the damage caused. We wishfully think we can still fix things or help with the desperation of still being able to hold onto the secrets. But the more we reach out and attempt to do so we cause harm; similar to how the tornado causes more harm and damage.

The way a secret loses power is to expose it. Let go of it. Verbalize it. Make it known to the outside from which this tornado has kept it enclosed in the darkness and misery. The moment we expose a secret it loses its power almost instantaneously. Think of the moment a tornado suddenly disappears into the sky.

As it vanishes into the clouds the sky opens and the sun appears.

We are finally able to see all the destruction and disaster our secrets have caused. It's a fear we dreaded, but now we can face those fears because the power of the secret is no longer having a hold over us. The secret being exposed does not relieve of us of the responsibility of the decision we've made; but the power it holds over us is significant in the recovery process. Now, we can connect to others. We can problem solve and find ways to overcome the destruction. We can begin to clean up the destruction and debris that was created by our secrets. It will take time. It will take patience. But the process cannot begin with the tornado still around. And the only way to overcome its strength and power is to expose our secrets.

Andrew J. Schreier © 2016